Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
that's an acceptable place to lick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
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I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
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Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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