i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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