ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
