I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
