therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
