She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
