a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
