Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
