Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
