did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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