why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
