Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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