then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
