I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
