Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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