I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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