I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
