She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
