there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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