I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
