I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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