..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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