Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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