can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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