drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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