I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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