Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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