I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
