38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
