i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
