Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
