do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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