So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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