false alarm. still invincible.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
