Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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