I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
