how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize