Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen