I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?