this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.