We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
