i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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