Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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