how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's blow job season.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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