Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
