the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
