Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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