I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize