Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
