If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Houston, we have a squirter
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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