screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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