I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
