i permit you to call me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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