All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
