Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
