You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
