I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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