I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
