okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
