I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize