just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
